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‘Some of the women I’ve dated were too pushy,’ he says.
‘One woman talked to me on the first date about having children and getting married.‘She asked me how much I make, which is about £400 a week. She was just looking for a wealthy husband.‘She told me she thought I was handsome and kind, but not successful or rich enough.’For Alex, who lives in Mitcham, South London, it has been heartbreaking to find his hopes for love so quashed, especially because he says he was very happily married until recently.‘I met my wife at a concert in 2004 and we married a few years later.
If they met someone for real, they’d maybe not find out their age until they’d been on a couple of dates, by which time they’d probably like them and the age wouldn’t matter.‘But instead, all they’re looking at is a photograph and they’ll swipe or click “yes” or “no”.
It’s very difficult.’Alex Cavadas, 41, a divorced part-time actor, says he’s a victim of this pickiness — and has given up on love after a series of emotionally crushing dates with women seemingly set on just one thing: money.
You might want to dismiss Chris as just another misogynist. A devoted husband of 21 years to his late wife Rosie, who also worked in television until her sudden death from an undiagnosed heart condition in 2008, the urbane Chris is as removed from a stereotypical knuckle-dragging woman-hater as you could hope to meet.
Yet even he was astonished by how brutally mercenary some of the middle-aged single women he met were.‘I was brought up by just my mother and absolutely support female empowerment.
So why, you might wonder, has Chris joined the growing band of British men, old and young, who have sworn off women for ever? There simply aren’t any good women out there.‘I have given up.
I have many female friends, but I can’t be bothered to deal with all the hang-ups and complications other women have,’ he says.‘Often, at my stage in life, many of them are divorced and seem full of bitterness and anger.’That’s certainly not the only complaint single men such as Chris direct at potential female partners they meet.
‘I’m all for female equality, so why did 99 per cent of women expect me to always foot the bill? She texted me, saying she was on her way and to ask for my address so she could park on my street.‘Minutes later there was a knock on the door.
But I’ve found it hard to meet anyone the same as me.‘Some women have asked me to sleep with them on the first night.
They get drunk and wear very revealing clothes, too.
Indeed, he was driven by the loving memories of how wonderful life can be when you have a partner with whom to share it.‘I loved — love — my wife. Men can have an entirely content life on their own.’So what’s causing this schism between the sexes at the very point in their lives when you might imagine they would be more likely than ever to settle down?
Psychotherapist Teresa Wilson, who runs a practice in South-West London, believes men and women are coming to the dating game in middle age with entirely different perspectives.By his own admission, he is ‘very well‑off’, owns several properties, including a £1.3 million terraced house in affluent Chiswick, West London, and is financially set for life, thanks to a series of successful investments.